Forbidden
by the-singular-peep
Summary: What she was feeling couldn't be real, right? A real Jedi wouldn't feel this attachment, a real Jedi definitely wouldn't act on it - but a real Jedi wouldn't have to lie, either. [ONE-SHOT. COMPLETE. FELUCIA KISS MENTIONED IN AFTER.]


_Forbidden_

* * *

Their lives had very nearly been lost. With swarms of droids, and a hot stickiness looming in the air that made it incredibly hard for the Jedi to breathe correctly, the two young Padawans that had been put in charge of this mission under the supervision of Jedi Master Luminara Unduli were finding it hard to continue. They were so near to the point of giving up with exhaustion and hunger that when the swarm of separatist droids retreated, it came as a great surprise.

After forty eight hours of nothing but fighting, Ahsoka Tano and Barriss Offee were both ready to drop. They were breathing heavily in the dark with nothing but the botany of Felucia lighting the world, standing side by side with lightsabers blazing as they watched in disbelief as the troops turned back. They had lost many men, and had, in fact, gotten quite lost from the large group of Clones. It wasn't as if they meant to - they were simply fighting so intently that they didn't notice when they were alone. It wasn't much of a problem; more than likely, Master Unduli was taking care of the Clones at the front line of the battle, so they didn't need to worry about that, but it was unsettling all the same to be surrounded by glowing plants in a land they had only heard about before this mission with no familiar faces other than each other's.

Ahsoka breathed with all of her might as sweat dripped down her form, her body still feeling the motion of battle as she stood still. She glanced at her counterpart and found her looking quite similar to herself.

Barriss' lightsabers felt heavy in her hands as she watched the droids retreat. There was no way this was happening. She couldn't let herself believe it, but as she watched...

It was real. It was happening. Her face split into a grin and she turned to Ahsoka.

"Ahsoka, we've one!" She shouted only a little bit louder than her normal diction. Ahsoka looked more surprised than anything else.

"We've done it!" Barriss was laughing now, glad that no more beings - be it droid or human - had to die at their sabers this time. She got so caught up in her joy, in fact, that she did something she would later categorize as incredibly, incredibly stupid.

She grabbed the girl beside her in the dark, pulled her close, and kissed her full on the lips.

Ahsoka was surprised at first, then did what her instincts told her: She deepened the kiss.

The two stayed in that embrace as long as they could, using that connection of their lips to create a very, very strong force bond between the two. They sensed everything that was racing through the other's mind; they felt their pulse, their wishes, their every emotion, and the two had to admit - it brought forth a feeling not quiet unlike meditation, only a bit more...exhilarating. They could have stayed their forever, but a certain soft accent broke their connection.

Every since their first meeting on Geonosis, there was something more than a simple camaraderie between Barriss and Ahsoka. Not quite close enough to romantic yearning to refer to it as such, but definitely something too great to call them simply coworkers. The feeling was akin to that of puppy love, but no one would dare call it such in the presence of the young Jedi. Or any Jedi, for that matter.

Anakin was the first to notice it. In fact, he may have realized it before even the girls themselves did. He never said anything, as he would not want one to mention his and Padme's relationship had they discovered it, but he could sense their tension. He saw the way Ahsoka's lekku darkened - just slightly - and the way her eyes lit up at simply the mention of Barriss's name. He noticed how his Padawan's voice seemed to have trouble coming without stuttering when she was around the older apprentice.

Plo Koon was the next to sense something. His Little Soka always _was_ quite an emotional person for a Jedi.

Obi Wan noticed next, followed shortly by none other than Barriss Offee herself, no matter how much she tried to block the thoughts.

There was just something endearing about the young Togruta, and Barriss couldn't deny that. She felt incredibly conflicted - if she were to be a Jedi, she couldn't have those thoughts, and yet she did. It was wrong, and it was forbidden, but she couldn't help it no matter how much she wanted to.

Ahsoka, however, had been quite oblivious to what her feelings had meant until this very moment.

Luminara was fairly in-the-know, being close enough to Barriss to sense _something_ happening, though she wasn't quite sure what it was. Barriss was more careful than Ahsoka - whenever she had any kind of emotion, especially one similar to this where she was unsure what it was, she would put every mental wall she had up. All of them.

This meant that Luminara, though she had a nagging suspicion, had no confirmation that the connection between her Padawan and the other was anything more than a friendship. That is, until now.

She nodded to each girl in turn.

"Barriss. Padawan Tano." The two apprentices jumped nearly a mile away from eachother, the Mirilian's face such a shade of scarlet that Luminara didn't even know the color existed while the Togruta's Lekku became so dark they were almost black. The two looked as if they had been caught in the act of murder, and though Luminara didn't exactly see it that way, she knew the two were breaking a rule never meant to be broken. Even so, she found it quite hard not to laugh. Goodness knows she had broken the same rule in her past, but that didn't make her role as a teacher any less important. Whether she wanted to or not, she would have to help them sort this out.

"If you are quite done with that, I might ask that you meet me on the ship in no more than five minutes. Thank you, carry on."

She had to keep it simple. If she hadn't, she would have started laughing right there. The look on their faces had been that of abject _horror_ \- She was fairly certain that Padawan Tano's pupils had dilated so much that they were nearly gone. Of course they were taking every alone moment they had to explore each other - they were young and they were reckless; and Luminara couldn't say that she was unhappy she finally knew the truth.

What Luminara more than likely _didn't_ know, however, was how much of a surprise the kiss had come to both parties involved. In fact, it was more of a surprise to them than to her.

Neither Barriss nor Ahsoka spoke as they made their way back to the ship they had arrived on. The silence gave the two time to think - Ahsoka had delicately placed her fingers on her lips, her eyes still wide, and Barriss was breathing so heavily that any onlookers would believe her about to explode and would take cover under the nearest bush.

* * *

When the two arrived in the small briefing room of the ship, Ahsoka and Barriss sat as far apart as they could possibly manage without falling off either end of the small bench. Barriss' face was still akin to a sith's saber, and Luminara could swear that there were frightened tears gathering in Ahsoka's pale eyes. Luminara sighed. They really shouldn't be that scared.

She nodded to her own Padawan and the other in turn, "Barriss, I know that you do not need another lecture on attachment, and I am sure your master has given you the same speech, yes?" Ahsoka nodded, refusing with all of her will power to make eye contact with anyone or anything.

"Both of you have broken a very essential rule to the Jedi order, and I do hope you know how important that is. Any kind of display like that can lead to punishment, and in extreme situations, expulsion from the order." She didn't miss the tiny gasp from Ahsoka and the shameful tears that welled in her own apprentice's eyes. Luminara went on. "You should also know that I myself am not a sinless creature. I have found myself in your own position when I was much, much younger, and I do understand your feelings. Do not see me as a heartless monster just because I am the Master available to catch and punish you." Both girls had looked hopeful for a moment, but those expressions had changed quickly with the mention of punishment. "I will not inform the council of your actions, because I do believe that this will not happen again. Padawan Tano, I will have to inform your Master of your actions and allow him to punish you as he deems fit. And Barriss," Her own Padawan tensed. "I did expect quite a lot more from a Padawan of your maturity, but no matter..."

Ahsoka didn't miss the way her friends breath tightened in response to the jab at her maturity, or the shameful way her head dipped to the floor as her Master continued.

"It was my fault, Master. I-I kissed Barriss, she protested. It was all because of me," Ahsoka blurted, interrupting Unduli suddenly. The Jedi Master raised an eyebrow at her apprentice.

"Barriss, is this true?"

The smaller Mirilian seemed quite conflicted at that moment. She looked to Ahsoka, then back at her Master, then to Ahsoka again. No matter how much she wanted to, she couldn't allow her friend - her _friend,_ and nothing more - to take the blame for her. She just couldn't.

"No, Master, that is -" There was a heavy stomp on her foot, and she looked to her left to see Ahsoka stretching her leg as far as possible to do so, then give a facial expression that said, ' _Let me do this for you,'._ Barriss took a deep breath. "Yes, Master. That is true." She hung her head again, and Luminara sighed.

"Very well. Padawan Tano, please come with me to contact Master Skywalker."

* * *

It wasn't until much later in the evening, after the group had arrived back at the temple, when Ahsoka finally caught up with Barriss in the halls.

"Ahsoka." The Mirilian greeted, turning to the younger. "I do hope that Master Skywalker wasn't too hard on you."

Ahsoka smirked. "Nah. He put on a bit of a show for Luminara, but when we got back I let him know _ever so slightly_ that I knew about him and Padme. Needless to say, he dropped everything except making me do youngling swimming lessons for a week instead of going on any missions." The girl grinned, looking to Barriss as the older girl gave a small smile. She was slightly uncomfortable with the blackmail, but couldn't say honestly that she wasn't grateful. No matter how many times over the past year Barriss had told herself that she had no feelings for Ahsoka, the girl simply couldn't deny how strongly she felt. Because of that, she was very happy that Ahsoka had stayed out of trouble and was not just able, but _instructed_ to stay safe at the temple for the next week. But, oh, she couldn't let that show - it would get both her and the lovely Togruta before her into great deals of trouble. And so she had to put her feelings behind her.

"So, uhm, I have a question." Ahsoka said softly. Once she saw the responsive quirked eyebrow, she checked their surroundings before pulling Barriss quite against her will into the nearest empty room.

"What did that even _mean_ , Barriss? The kiss?" She whispered. Barriss paled slightly.

"Ahsoka, that was a mistake. It- It meant nothing, I was simply caught up in the joy of winning, I wasn't thinking." _Lie._

She couldn't let anyone know the truth, she just _couldn't._

Ahsoka made a face.

"Nothing, Barriss, really? I _know_ what nothing feels like, and that wasn't nothing. Come on, I covered for you, at _least_ tell me what it meant." She crossed her arms.

"I do appreciate you taking the blame, Ahsoka, I really do, but I must tell you the truth, and the truth is that the- that _display_ was _nothing." Lie._

Ahsoka screwed up her face in anger and stomped her foot much like a child in the throws of a tantrum would.

"Barriss, I know you're lying to me right now! I know you; I know that at least something, force forbid it be something like _love,_ was there! I know for a fact it was!"

"It _was_ nothing, Ahsoka, and you cannot convince me otherwise. I am not attracted to you, and I never will be, because that _kiss_ was a _mistake." Lie._

Barriss didn't miss the look of utter betrayal in Ahsoka's eyes. She didn't miss the way she bit her lip with one of her small fangs, or the way her eyes glittered with fresh tears, or the tiny, endearing sniff she gave as she held herself in a makeshift hug. Barriss nearly faltered, but she couldn't. She couldn't give in; _a true Jedi doesn't have attachments._ And so she turned on her heel and walked away, wishing with her whole being that she could go back and make it right.

* * *

 _Viola - the Felucia kiss scene mentioned in 'After'._

 _Sorry if it wasn't quite as happy as you maybe expected, but I got really carried away in this one. 3_


End file.
